“We fear that we are inadequate, but our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.”
Marianne Williamson
This might be one of my favorite quotes – but with it brings a lot of conviction.
It feels like I have been afraid my entire life.
I am afraid of rejection.
of not being enough
of being too much
of being wrong
of not being loved
of not doing the right thing
of failing
of hurting others
and the list goes on and on.
I’m not really sure where to go from here. I’m tired of living in fear. I’m tired of living a half life – an untrue life because of fear. Because here’s what I have learned. None of that fear is helping me.
Not saying the thing because I’m afraid of how the other person will react, doesn’t save me from pain, or rejection. It actually just creates more. I end up feeling unseen, not known, misunderstood and often bitter & resentful.
Not giving my idea my full attention and kicking butt to really do my best, makes me doubt myself more, quit, and teaches me that I am abandoned – but mostly by myself.
I quit, I holdback, because I’m afraid I will fail or be rejected, but also, what if I succeed? What if the relationship gets better and deeper. It means more responsibility, more investment – more on the line.
Our brains like what’s comfortable, what it knows, what it can predict. New things are new dangers, the unknown is risky. And since our brain’s job is to keep us safe, the unknown, new territory, ever wins, is the enemy. It is better (so your brain thinks) to live with the “enemy” you know, rather than risk something you don’t know.
I know all this but still wayyy too often allow fear to keep me small, and hold me back. It happened recently in a relationship. Someone said something hurtful, but I didn’t say anything back. And honestly, that makes me more angry at myself. I am worth standing up for. I am worth it. If it means the relationship can’t handle it, it wasn’t a very good relationship in the first place.
I love this quote because it challenges me to show up for myself, to trust myself, to get out of my comfort zone, get to know myself, learn to love myself and see what is possible.