I wonder if we dream at all anymore, much less dare to dream scary dreams.
Maybe it’s just me but it seems so much of life is determined by outside circumstances and I seem to just go with the flow. I fear I live more of a reactionary life than a purposeful, intentional, big-dream kind of life.
At one point I had big dreams, I think. Or maybe not. Not like intentional, planned, focused dreams, just vague kind of hopes. Only recently, within the last 3-4 years, have I started a ‘vision board’ so to speak. Being in my 40s I feel I’m running out of time, so all my old vague hopes are combining with life experience and more reasonable expectations (well, mostly more reasonable) and I’m trying to squeeze everything in. Then I get overwhelmed and frazzled and lose focus. I am not giving up though. I may be ‘mid-life’ but I’m not dead. I still have time to see my dreams come true. But to see big dreams come true, there has to be a willingness to be honest and brave. Brave enough to face the unknown, to dream bigger than you believe possible. To dream, hope, pray for the extraordinary.
That kind of bravery may look like:
That love, the kiss, that makes your foot pop – is exciting, but a bit uncomfortable, new… scary.
Signing up for those college courses after all these years … scary.
Applying for that dream job, planning for the move to the new city, inviting that new person for coffee …
Adventures, Dreams, … Living a Life that takes your breath away … Scary
Scary, heart-racing, breath-holding, exciting and worth it.
But how do you dare to dream? How do you sort through all the old and new dreams, the realistic, the fears, the self-doubt? How do you go from floating through life to having a clear view of what your dreams are and a plan to see them through?
I’ve been working through this myself, and here’s the framework that’s helping me stop floating and start moving — I call it the BONE Method, because dreams need a backbone – they need structure and strength.
- BREAK – Break your current pattern and system. What you’ve been doing isn’t getting you to your dream life. Step one – Brain Dump – get it all on paper. Some important questions to consider:
- What’s important to you?
- What do you want?
- What do you NOT want?
- WHO do you want to be?
- Describe your best self.
- ORGANIZE. After you’ve dumped everything onto PAPER and out of your head, organize it into the following areas.
- Relationships: love, family, friends
- Spiritual
- Career/School
- Personal Growth/Learning/Hobbies
- Finances
- Fun/Adventure/Passion
- NAVIGATE – Narrow Down. Dream Big but be realistic
- Are your dreams too big? too small?
- Take time to navigate what you have down and start making a plan
- Work backwards – now that you know where you’re going, what does that mean you have to have done by the end of the year? the next 6 months? this month? this week?
- EXECUTE – get going. Execute is where most dreams go to die — not because the dream was wrong, but because we never got specific. Don’t just say “I’ll work on it.” Put it in your calendar like an appointment you can’t cancel. Tell someone what you’re doing and when you’ll have it done. Check in with yourself weekly — not to judge, but to adjust. Motion beats perfection every time. Start before you’re ready.
- Set time-lines, structure, accountability partners and check-ins.
If you’re living an easy, comfortable life – are you living? Are there dreams that are lying dormant, hoping to be lived?
So much of the best life has to offer, is found outside of our comfort zones. Dare to do the scary and live rather than float. Go get your big scary dreams.